I've just returned from a retreat at Frasers' Hill where I was both retreat leader AND participant. It was a very insightful experience for me - both helping others come into a place of rest as well as finding rest and healing for myself. So throughout the two and a half days I would share a few thoughts, lead in the practice of a spiritual discipline, and then settle into reflection and contemplation myself.
The beauty of doing it this way was that we were all journeying together. No one was really the 'guru' or the 'leader' who had all the answers. I wasn't put on a pedestal. We could all be real and see our common struggles breaking through our restlessness to find rest in God.
Expressed in many ways, the Word (in Psalm 33-34)continues to assert that there is only one way worth following, and that is God's. Conversely, our short-sighted humanistic purposes he 'foils' and 'thwarts.' We are reminded not to place any confidence in the things that will ultimately fail, like the 'size of his army', 'great strength' of the warrior' or the speed of a 'horse in hope of deliverance.'
No amount of power, ability, influence, possesion can protect you and buy you safety, solace and peace of mind. The psalmist urges us to do the only right thing, and that is 'in him our hearts rejoice, trust in his holy name, put our hope in Him'.
I've been eating without thinking and neglecting exercise for a couple of months now. Chomping my way steadily up 3kgs since I dared look at the scales. Yesterday I started running again and clocked my slowest speed ever in 2 years! 6.6kph for a distance of 5km. That's from a high of 11kph... Sob!
Today, I decided I will start counting again and logging my exercise and intake.
Input today: 2240cals! (from a kong-fu chau for dinner, and McD's double cheeseburger for lunch) Bad, bad, bad. I'm going to try to get back to a sub 1500cal day in order to lose 1kg a week.
The instructions to the priesthood and prescriptions for correct temple protocol found in the book of Leviticus is laborious and wearisome to work through. It is hard to understand the God of the New Testament who is one of grace and freedom encumbering the Israelites of the Old with such huge burdens and near-impossible legalism.
But there are the occasional hints that clues us in on the basis for such elaborate institutions. Like Lev 17:11, where the LORD declares that 'the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one's life.'
It seems like there's a new wave of M.D. shows on TV. With the demise of Chicago Hope and E.R., and only Becker surviving the times, we now have two brand new, swanky doctor shows - SCRUBS and HOUSE.
For the unacquainted, SCRUBS revolves around a few interns with overactive imaginations, hip lives, and a great zest for people. In short - a myth. But, hey, who among us MDs don't wish our lives were a little like that. I liked today's episode on Astro, actually, where a dying patient taught an intern that it was ok to rest.
That he needed to give himself permission to go lie on the grass and relax for awhile. We MDs do become so obsessed and entrapped in our work sometimes as not to be able to see the bigger picture or to find ourselves apart from it.
I'm so proud of what I've done with SALIVATE, my food indulgence blog. Not that many people actually go to it to look for places to eat. Not that I've reviewed that many places. It's just that the ROJAK shot looks so damned good there, I salivate when I look at it. And I've been able to put in a map and satellite photo to show how to fly in also. Now that's an achievement! Hah.
Decided on a whim to get out of the city and look down on it, at it, away from it, just not be in it, for a while. And oh what a wonderful experience it was. We drove up the Hulu Langat hills, and just less than 10km from where the road leaves Cheras is this small clearing where we can plant ourselves and just stare at KL city in all its madness.
It condemns the runaway arrogance of absolute self-rule. My life is not for me to run as I wish and to do with any way I so please. I am not my own. I belong also to someone else.
On the other hand, the success and outcome of my life isn't squarely on my shoulders either. I am not solely responsible. The burden isn't all mine. I am not my own. I belong also to someone else.
What joy to be called a temple. A tabernacle. A home. To be a heart/body that is a shared space with the One who transforms it, enlivens it and nurtures it together with me. I want to be a space always full of love, warmth and truth, and a space always available to others.
Everyone has strong feelings about the shroud we are under. Take away our blue skies and majestic skyline and fires begin to burn in the hearts of Malaysians.
Only until recently did the government end its secrecy on the API - by which time, undeniable and unconcealable hazardous levels has already been superceded. But API or no API, we are all choked, and we are panicking. Like smoking rats in a cage, with nowhere to run, the frenzy is palpable. It's not just a haze in the sky, it's confusion on the ground as well.
How long will this last? How is it affecting my health? Should I stay home or go to work? Is it safe? Will there be an emergency? Should I think of moving out of the city?
A short lectio divina of Jeremiah 33:3 today brought these most-quoted words pounding through my brick-walled heart.
'Call to me and I will answer...'
'Call to me... you do not know.'
These words sank deeply through my callouses and brought out a throbbing cry for help. Buried alive beneath layers of rubble I do not even have words for, is this cry: 'God I need you, I need to feel, and know, and see you again. I want to be alive again, with your life flowing through mine. I am so dead. So cold. Dry bones and lukewarm spit hardly describes how frozen and encased I feel. My spiritual ECG is a flatline.'
I've just returned from a retreat at Frasers' Hill where I was both retreat leader AND participant. It was a very insightful experience for me - both helping others come into a place of rest as well as finding rest and healing for myself. So throughout the two and a half days I would share a few thoughts, lead in the practice of a spiritual discipline, and then settle into reflection and contemplation myself.
I've been eating without thinking and neglecting exercise for a couple of months now. Chomping my way steadily up 3kgs since I dared look at the scales. Yesterday I started running again and clocked my slowest speed ever in 2 years! 6.6kph for a distance of 5km. That's from a high of 11kph... Sob! 
The instructions to the priesthood and prescriptions for correct temple protocol found in the book of Leviticus is laborious and wearisome to work through. It is hard to understand the God of the New Testament who is one of grace and freedom encumbering the Israelites of the Old with such huge burdens and near-impossible legalism.
For the unacquainted, SCRUBS revolves around a few interns with overactive imaginations, hip lives, and a great zest for people. In short - a myth. But, hey, who among us MDs don't wish our lives were a little like that. I liked today's episode on Astro, actually, where a dying patient taught an intern that it was ok to rest. 
These words sank deeply through my callouses and brought out a throbbing cry for help. Buried alive beneath layers of rubble I do not even have words for, is this cry: 'God I need you, I need to feel, and know, and see you again. I want to be alive again, with your life flowing through mine. I am so dead. So cold. Dry bones and lukewarm spit hardly describes how frozen and encased I feel. My spiritual ECG is a flatline.'
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